Poetry: Infinite Love

By Monica C. Voskamp

 

She seeks after more

More beauty,  more attention, more fame

Anything for people to look her way.

 

She strives chasing the wind

For something that can never

Be bought, gained or achieved.

 

She seeks after more

More than possible for her to give

More than possible for her to attain.

 

What is this foolishness

Girl yet not woman

Striving for more?

 

What is this atrocity

Woman of a wife

Trying to earn love?

 

Women of this planet

Beautiful souls tormented

All yearning for love.

 

dear feminine souls, listen close

Stop all the mindless chatter

Listen to truth untold.

 

Precious one of a kind you,

You matter.

Not for what you do,

Not for what you become,

Not for what you lack.

 

You simply matter

Because you are loved

The woman of you.

 

You are loved with

Such wild authenticity

Beyond what you can imagine

Beyond what you can believe.

 

This gentle power of love

Has already walked the chambers

Of your anguished soul.

Has already felt the depth

Of your pain.

 

Love already understands

All you wish to be

But all you are not.

 

Love doesn’t demand

Doesn’t ask one iota of you.

Rather she gives,  embraces

The entirety of you.

 

Women of this world,

Please listen close

You need to hear.

 

You are loved,

There is nothing more

Nothing more to the equation.

 

You are loved beyond

Every shadow of any doubt.

Embrace this truth.

 

Come enter warmth,

Release your weary body

Into the sphere of free,

No price tags, no demands

Only peaceful belonging.

 

Wild uncontainable beauty,

Fire that ignites your soul,

This is what you’re longing for,

Infinite love.

 

Where you belong

Where you are called

Is beyond human knowledge

Is beyond the fathomable.

 

Dear feminine beauties, you,

Relentless, unconditional love

Inks every letter of your name.

 

Nothing for you to do,

Nothing to stand and protest

Nothing changes the verdict.

 

Infinite love writes only truth:

You. Are. Loved.

 

Always hope. Always believe. Always love. ❤

*Photo Credit: Photo by Petr Ovralov on Unsplash

The Scale of Significance.

By Monica C. Voskamp

Significance.

It has a scale.  I made a simple sketch of it.

signficancescale.jpg

Where do you see yourself on this scale? ^^^ Trash? Royalty? Somewhere in between?

It matters. Where you see yourself on this scale is going to penetrate every area of your life.

It’s going affect how you interact in relationships, how you do business, and how you navigate through stress.  How you view life and other people all ties back to how you view YOU.

How do I know? Because I know me. I know my story.

When I embarked on my healthy living journey, I realized I hated myself.  I’ve worked hard to think more of myself and the ramifications have been huge! 🙂

What I didn’t realize the root belief of insignificance ran deeper than I knew.  I discovered this when I encountered a few men who treated me like trash.  Meeting those men made me realize I had a lot more work to do on my sense of value.

For awhile, those relationships pushed me further towards a trash value mentality. But, in the end they’ve made me pursue my significance with more determination.

When I was with those men, I began to believe the selfish, derogatory ways they treated me was normal to expect in relationships. Better was hard to comprehend, and I thought was beyond my deserving. I wasn’t believing or living in my full value.

I AM worth a better man. (Yes I know you’d all tell me that. 🙂 ) But *I* need to know this; I need to understand my rightful significance for life change.

Somehow, the deserving still scares me. I still question it. Yes, I do want a good relationship. I want a man who honors, respects and commits to me because he loves me and sees me both body & soul.  Yet, I’ve been terrified of dating a man like this. I have felt undeserving of such a man and felt like I would be gypping him. Yes, this is skewed thinking. It stems from insignificance, lack of belief in myself and my actual value. It also holds a risk.

It feels like a risk to let go of what I’ve settled for and be patient for what I truly deserve and desire in a relationship. It means bypassing who will waste my time and hurt my person and believing the best it yet to come. It means vulnerability to discover honorable treatment. Mostly, it means trusting the right man can be good to me and giving him permission to do that. These are healthy risks.

There is an element of risk in stepping into any new healthy process of thought and behavior.

The thing is learning to understand the *difference* of  good and bad risks. There are both.

It is easy for me to relate good risks to my physical health journey.

I had been in a familiar pattern of unhealthy and dieting way of life. I knew that turf. I didn’t know how to to do life-long healthy living even though I wanted that. I was scared to commit to something different and good; it was unknown territory (hello scary!) It held risks of failure and hard work. It also demanded my ownership to the mess I had been denying.

Even though it was the better thing, I was more motivated by insecurity, fear and pride than I was motivated to discover greater good and to tackle a positive opportunity. 

Good news:  I took the good risk. You can see that. 🙂

I left my safe cushion of unhealthy living for an unseen place of good.  It unfolded out so much better than I could’ve imagined.  Don’t ever let fear stop you from good risks!!!

Old patterns roots run deep though. I get to face this risk thing again, and yet again in my life. I’m finding it bleeds a common theme: significance.

The way you view your significance will either move or paralyze you.  Your signature of significance is your pathway to either (more) fear or (more) freedom.

A few years ago, I was struggling to leave a toxic relationship. I knew I needed to, but I was having trouble leaving. My counselor told me it was because the dysfunction of the relationship held an essence of normal familiarity for me.

Sadly, dysfunction and ill treatment had become my new normal, so it felt conflicting for me to leave that.

The scary thing is this:

the comfort of dysfunctional normal and the fear of losing more than you will gain can prevent you from seeking healthy goodness.

It’s easier to stay in a dysfunctional state because of the sense of normality. It IS scary to leave your “dysfunctional normal” for a realm of different! Why? Loss happens. Change happens. Hard work is needed to create a new healthy space.

You have to let go of thoughts, behaviors, people and even places because of that unhealthiness. That right there is hard. We are creatures of habit, emotions, and connection. Change is hard. Loss is.

In both my health & relationship experiences, I was scared the loss factor outweighed the risk of leaving the dysfunctional area.

I was afraid something better wouldn’t happen and daunted by the hard work to get the place of healthy.

What helped me leave that guy was realizing I had a choice in the matter. I said, No.  Sounds simple right? It wasn’t.

It’s been the hardest thing, especially with men, to say ‘No‘ and draw healthy boundaries.  But here’s the thing, in saying no, I’m essentially saying: I respect myself. I know my significance. That’s powerful; that’s living from a secure base.

Embarking on a healthy living journey has been the best good risk; its exposed myself. It’s exposed lies I’ve believed. It’s shown me where I am and where I want to go…in ALL my life, not just with my physical body.

SPARK55lbscollagepic
A journey of learning I am equally significant *every* stage, every weight, & every day.

I’m learning loving me means I am significant all the time. 

When I start to see myself as highly significant, I go about life a lot differently. I find confidence to pursue things I am worth.

In someways, you only proceed in life by the amount you believe in yourself. You simply will have a different approach to life and people based on how you see your value. Actually,  you function from the state of your believed value.

Believing you are fully significant is essential to healthy living. It allows you to be thriving! Living in your rightful significance will redefine your life.

truesignificance

No matter how people treat you, your amount of significance stays loyally true: 100%. This is ALWAYS legit. Although your view of yourself may fluctuate in life, the truth of your value remains unmoved.

Believing and living in your top notch significance is the good risk you get to choose. 🙂

In my experiences, I smile because I took good risks and I’m thankful for all the people who have journeyed with me to get there! No, you don’t have to do good risks alone.  The joy of living in true value is worth it, as is doing the journey with other people.

This is my pursuit, good risks, living out the full significance of who I am as a woman, as me: Monica Charity Voskamp. And I hope you are chasing, claiming the same truth reality of your full significance. 🙂

Always believe, always hope, and most of all always believe in love.  ❤