Tag: promises

By Monica C. Voskamp

 

Let down one too many times

The hurt finds me

Plummeting

Living the cruel steady truth,

The law of gravity.

 

I can’t do this with you

I can’t keep falling

Off this beautiful cliff,

Only to fall

One more time.

 

Every time I leap

I think you’ll catch me

Think that somehow

We can both escape

The laws of gravity.

 

But instead,

Of course,

We fall.

We plummet

And shatter hard.

 

Down to the canyon floor

1000 and one miles below

There, we fall.

There, we are.

 

It’s difficult to find me

But I’m there in the dust

And I wonder when I get up

How many times it will take?

 

Will I climb the steep embankment

Only to throw myself off

-With you doing the same-

Once again,

Expect something different,

Is this what I’ll continue to do?

 

How many times will I

Hurt myself on purpose?

How long will it take

Of this plumenting

To redirect my course?

 

I’m getting tired of these

Do or die flights.

I’m tired of throwing myself

Off the edge.

 

In foolish faith

I’ve been believing

I’ll be finding

Something that is not.

 

When what I am finding

Over and over

Is constantly falling down,

Hurting my soul

And hurting yours.

 

Falling for you,

Falling with you

Doing this foolish diving

Again and again.

 

I’ve jumped.

I hope it’s the last.

 I’m down here in the canyon

Watching the dust settle.

 

I look over,

See the fragments of you too.

It’s agony, wearing on both of us.

 

We now are rising,

Brushing dust off ourselves,

Piecing ourselves back together,

Knowing it’s time.

 

Finally starting

With some distance between

Eyes locking,

We are mutually stopping.

 

Suddenly feeling the effects

Of these heart breaking falls,

Our souls are finally speaking

Honest questioning:

 

Can we really do this to ourselves, again?

Will we really do this to ourselves, again?

Are we that blind?

Are we that naive?

To keep living

Foolish, stubborn behaviour of youth

Trying to fly as humans

Defying gravity?

 

Or is it time to acknowledge reality

Hug goodbye.

Stop holding close

What needs to

Go.

 

Say so long to

All this cliff jumping

Leave this chaotic free falling,

Romantic lying.

 

It’s too tiring,

I can’t keep up,

God knows, I’m getting old

But hopefully finally

Learning.

 

We both know the truth

Yet the ties of time between us

Run strong and have a stubborn hold.

 

The problem is while we

Are playing this delusional game,

The hands of time keep on turning.

 

The clock tells the truth:

You and me haven’t progressed

We’ve merely polished the practice

Of deceiving and believing.

 

You and me are still here at 9 o’clock

9 o’clock, not midnight.

We are always waiting for the magic

Yet always staying

Just shy of it.

 

And it’s killing me,

Slowly.

Don’t tell me,

It doesn’t hurt you too.

 

Bittersweet,

It aches my soul

To let something

So precious to me,

Finally, go.

 

But letting go

Is the right thing to do,

Of a hope that always eludes,

Of a hope that is actually meant to be

Set free.

 

We both know

The ironic truth:

We need to let go of 

Something we don’t even hold.

 

Set free to the air.

Ride a different course.

Know we tried,

God, how we tried.

 

Know we will cry,

But know we can  now take pride,

We have finally learned

What we need to.

 

Time to keep moving on

And not living lives

Running in circles.

 

It’s finally time

To honor the sacredness

Of the delicate sands

Passing quickly between us.

 

Let’s take a moment,

Slow down emotions,

Clear our cluttered minds

Finally be authentic

With our precious souls.

 

Please, let’s be good

To each other, to the future.

Let our hands clutch loose,

What our clenching hands

Haven’t wanted to

But so desperately need to.

 

Time to watch each other find

Walk the much needed path,

Free.

 

Imagine that

You and me,

Free.

Smile as you cry,

Smile imagining,

Free.

 

Go, dear friend.

Climb new mountains

Waiting for you.

I will too.

 

Go, dear friend

Set your feet on

Something solid

Something concrete

Something different.

Something new.

I will too.

 

Just promise me,

Promise me,

No more leaping

No more deceiving.

 

No more attempting

No more thinking

We can redefine,

Laws of gravity.

 

Promise me,

As I promise you,

I will respect, listen to

The voice of gravity.

 

Finally stop all this unnecessary trying

To redefine what’s permanently written

In the universe.

 

It’s futile effort,

Something we cannot change,

The laws of

Gravity.

Always hope. Always believe. Always love. ❤

 

Photo Credit: Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash