Poetry: Heart break Games

By Monica C. Voskamp


So tired of love

Always being a game

So tired of love

Never being enough.


Just tired of love

Not being what

It said it was.


My heart doesn’t want any more

Of these fickle heartbreak games.


So why is this

What draws me in

Is this all I understand

Love to be?


It leaves me spinning

Reeling one after another

These heart break games.


Does Disney lie?

Are all these love songs

Just a cover up?


Is the truth

Everyone is playing

The same guessing game?


Is the truth

There is no beauty

Love is just messed up.


Slammed down one too many times

Has left me here

In hurtful confusion, questioning.


I’m put off,

Searching for more

Yet always finding

The same.


A fling

A misguided hope

A wounded heart.


Is every love story

A social media picture

Living contrary to what it seems?


Is the truth rather this

Love is just plain messy

Not a one size fits all?


Maybe it’s both,

Fairytale and reality.

Love please don’t equate

To highschool guessing games.


Maybe it’s me

Maybe there’s more

Than what I’ve believed.


But where do you find this

When your heart is worn thin?

Where do you find new hope

Where do you even begin?


Maybe one day

A faraway someday

My eyes will see

Something different.


Maybe hoping in

A long shot wishing

My heart will experience

Something lasting.


Take the right risk

Try one more time.

Believe there is more

Than heartbreak lines.


Maybe I’ll still find,

In pieces that unite

 A “you & I” possibility.


No more heartbreaks

Just a mesh of turbulent beauty

Doing life together.


Promising forever

And sure to mess up,

But at last is severed

Games of the heart.


Always hope. Always believe. Always love. ❤

*Photo Credit: Photo by Jonathan Petersson on Unsplash

Poetry: Finding Home

Tears had been her wasteland.
Time had been her enemy,
Blurring by without notice.

By Monica C. Voskamp


She didn’t know it was so close.

The path to home.

Tears had been her wasteland.

Time had been her enemy,

Blurring by without notice.

She had been stuck here for so long,

Hope for more seemed futile.


But then without expecting,

She saw the desert ground below anew.

She saw it leading somewhere,

Somewhere beyond her desolate ground.


Her heart pounded with hope,

There was more beyond this moment.

There was a path leading beyond today,

One she wasn’t going to bypass.


The lady of desert places believed.

She believed even when she did not yet see.

As her feet moved one step

In front of the other,

A new path began emerging.


The lady of dark barren places,

Saw the way light up before her.

A path she never knew possible,

Was now in plain view.


The lady of lonely and pain

Was finally leaving the wastelands,

Was finally finding her north star,

The lady of the most lonely hearts,

Was suddenly finding her way out.

She was finding her way,


Always believe. Always hope. Always love. ❤

*Cover image Photo Credits: Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

The other world-wide currency: fear.

By Monica C. Voskamp

Money passes through many hands, buildings and countries. It’s our currency to get things we need and want, to make dreams tangible, to go places. Money is our world-wide currency.

There is another heated currency that travels just as easily. It passes from person to person, home to home, and country to country. This currency is the unseen energy of fear.

You may not see fear as something you need. But thinking about it, it takes a little bit of fear to take our first step, to apply for our first job, to pursue our dream career. It takes a little bit of fear to say “I do” (marriage) or to try something new.

A tiny bit of fear is normal. As long as we propel forward, then fear is in it’s proper place.  It’s not STOPPING you.  If you still go after that job proposition despite a bit of nerves, you are the leader and in the power position.

Just like money can have 2 different stances, so can fear. Money can flow through your hands wherever you direct it to go. Your decisions are made from a place of freedom. This is you in control.  Contrary, your life can follow money’s hunger. Then, money has the control. We all know how money puts us humans into crazy situations…debt, fights, deaths, divorces.. But it’s not really money that puts us in those situations. It’s the position we give money in our lives that matters.

You get the power to choose if money is your Master or Servant.

Fear is like a currency.  It is a given aspect in life. However, the way you handle fear directly impacts it’s energy flow: through or against you, as master or servant of you.


Photo by Zulmaury Saavedra on Unsplash

Fear can take hold of you, or you can take hold of fear.

I should know. Pff, I do know. Fear has held me long and hard. I know how to fear way too many things…not a resumé skill. (pathetic laugh.)

I wrote out a basic list of fears last night before I went to bed…

-fear of failing, fear of judgement, fear of rejection…(It went on.)

Fear breeds fear. This is why I know how to fear well.

I’ve learned fear, and repeated fear.

I’ll shared 2 of the weird fears I have…

fear# 1: I’m afraid the city sewer grates will give way when I step on them.

To deal with this fear, I either step around the grates or just put one foot on them.  (Cause, you know then only half my body weight is on it, and if it does break I can catch myself.) This is way too much thought processing!

As I’ve aged, I’ve made it less obvious how I dodge these grates. The last few times I’ve come across a sewer grate, I tried to purposely face this fear. I walked over it, very quickly mind you. The grate didn’t break. (Wonder of wonders. 😉 ) Still, I’m honestly not eager to go out and stand on a city sewer grate. So if we ever meet, please, let’s not do that…right off. 🙂

Onto absurd fear #2: I’m afraid of metal hangers.

The fear does have a root, as all fears do. When I was 9,  I was told this AWFUL story about someone being killed in a barn and their death involved a hanger.  The story was a fabrication of course. But at the time, I believed the scary lie as true.

After hearing the story, I was suddenly terrified of metal clothing hangers. I would hide metal hangers whenever I went to bed. My rationale? If a robber or bad guy came at least I wouldn’t die the hanger death–because I had hidden the hangers.  (this is my ridiculous fear confession and hilarious rationale lol. )  Okay, now you may start laughing …or shake your head in sad disbelief.

But this isn’t just a past fear unfortunately. :/ Just a few months ago, their was a hanger at the end of my bed. (Lucky for me, I normally clean them up now. Take that robbers…no weapons for you. 😉 )   Earlier in the evening I had spotted it and actually made a mental note to put it away before I went to sleep.  I tucked it under my laundry basket clothes before getting into bed.  This is braver than the past as I actually allowed the hanger to stay in my room and it didn’t have to go in the closet. Then I went to bed, satisfied I was “safe”.  (Seriously Mon, the hanger is hidden so now you are safe?! See how ridiculous fears can get!)

please laugh.

I’m chuckling at myself. It’s good to laugh at little at our fears, takes a bit of the edge off. What you just read is laughably crazy, but sadly true. This is the power of fear. Do the math. I’m 35…..this fear has lived with me more than a quarter of a century!  Until I go about things differently, my hanger fear is going to stay with me till the day I meet the nurses in the nursing home. And I really should spare them that headache. 😛

Fear has made me avoid certain people, avoid chasing many dreams, avoid making countless conversations (confrontations), and avoid trying new things. I’ve let fear govern my decisions. Too much I’ve avoided in the past 25 plus years because of fear.

 Fear has been dictating in my career, relationships, spirituality, sexuality, and finances.

This flipping bastard of a demon seeps into every area of one’s life! Fear has mastered me for years too many.  It’s my turn to lead now.

You can either hold a fear in your hands and be the one directing it’s power or YOU will be the one in fear’s hands, channeled to do it’s bidding.

Money has power. Fear has power. Both are currencies. They can help move you forward in life or trap you down in debt.

Respect this knowledge.  Your respect of these directly impacts the places you will go, the people you will meet, and the situations you will face. Or won’t. 

I know my life is going to change dramatically as I face my fears, as I learn to use it’s currency for my good and realize I’m meant to be the leader! I smile at that thought. 🙂 I’m excited to switch roles with fear.

To you reading, I’ve a question for you:

Are you the leader of your fears or do your fears lead you?

What are the fears you live with? What would you be doing differently if that fear was suddenly gone? Who would or wouldn’t be in your life? Maybe by acknowledging this fear and just imaging different scenarios will jump-start newness.  There is a different story possible for you.

Photo by Elijah O’Donnell on Unsplash


Change will happen if you begin to follow who is the rightful leader: you. You can do greater things than what you believe today.  You can lead the way to new places, new people and new situations where fear is not the dominant.

 Are you channeling the currency of your fears? Or, is the currency of fear dominating you?

Go ahead, try it. Imagine your different.

Photo by Marion Michele on Unsplash

Imagine your possible story. And pursue. I’m right with you, daring a new story too. 🙂

Always believe. Always hope. Always know, love is the greatest of these. ❤