Poetry: Clarity

By Monica C. Voskamp

It was crazy.

Chaos was everywhere.

Life was a living nightmare.

Her skin was cold from the pelting rain.

Her clothes were worn from the long journey.

Her boat was rattled from the nightmare tsunami.

Nothing was different but everything changed

When she woke up to the sound of clarity.

She saw herself taking a worthwhile trip.

She saw herself living life with meaning.

She saw herself exploring,

A whole new world.

 © 2020 MONICA C. VOSKAMP
Always hope. Always believe. Always love. ❤

Photo Credit: Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

Poetry: Raindrops

By Monica C. Voskamp

 

Raindrops upon my soul

Both gentle and hard

Drops of tears and mistakes

Pain joy and regrets.

 

Raindrops upon my soul

Both refreshing and healing

While achingly difficult.

 

The winds blow hard

Of storms I didn’t expect

But this rain upon my soul

Is neither good nor awful.

 

It’s purposes of springtime life

Dirt puddles and mud combined

Mingled raindrops on our souls

These the unfolding picture

Of our becoming whole.

 

Always hope. Always believe. Always love. 💕

 

Poetry: The King

By Monica C. Voskamp

(Inspired by the parable my mom told me of a good king)

 

The King looks down and sees

Not the reality of commoners

Fighting, shouting and ever

Judging their fellow man.

 

The King looks down and sees

A different reality:

The suffering in their hearts,

Their longing to be

Realized.

 

The King’s eyes probe past

The drunken staggering,

The stench of whiskey

And reads a soul drowning in pain.

 

The king sees past a homeless person

Defeated and ashamed

He read their panicking minds

Wondering how they will get through

Another day.

 

The king sees the loner,

Carrying a mountain

All by himself,

Sinking deeper each day

In depression and hopelessness.

 

The King sees the prostitute

Reads her screaming heart

Hoping one day someone

Won’t judge her,

Someone will finally love her,

Just because

Not for pleasure.

 

The King doesn’t see

With commoner eyes,

And this,

This is why He is King.

 

His soul enters into the hearts

And minds of his people.

He hears beyond the screams

And reckless behaviour.

 

The King sees a suffering race

One He is responsible

To both lead and serve

One He has decided

To give a second chance

Because He loves them.

 

The King doesn’t forget

They are hurting people

Needing hope,

Needing love,

Needing to be assured

They as commoners,

Matter.

 

The King is wise

He doesn’t say off with their heads

At their crazy behaviour,

Nor does he look the other way,

When wrong has been done.

The King is patient

Yet doesn’t tolerate disgrace.

 

He lives what he gives,

He sees with greater eyes,

He see the people as people.

And in doing so,

He builds a nation

Strong in hope

Firm in trust

Secured in love.

 

The King looks from above,

While entering prisons inside.

And this is why the King,

Can be trusted to lead

Trusted to win

All the battles they face,

Especially the ones

Buried deep down

Inside.

 

Always hope. Always believe. Always love. ❤

*Photo Credit: Photo by Ricardo Cruz on Unsplash

The Oxymoron of Humanity

By Monica C. Voskamp

Every one has a story.  Every one has a struggle.  Every one has a triumph.

It’s easy to isolate ourselves thinking we are unique to our struggles. Yes, you ARE the only one traveling the intricate path you do, but in the same breath, we still share universal concepts of grief, fear, triumph, hate and love. We each bleed human blood. It’s easy to blur the lines when strong emotions, when overwhelming circumstances come, when abuse happens. It’s easy to blur the lines thinking we are unique and utterly alone.

We are alone but not. We are unique but similar in how we all are unique. We are different but the same because we are each different.

What connects us is possessing the blood of humanity.

When we step away from the power of our emotions and look at the facts,  it can give us liberty to view our surroundings, our community, our planet earth differently.

It’s a strange oxymoron and enlightening liberation: How so different we are yet how so much we also are the same. Perhaps this is the platform on which we humans can relate with diversity.  The oxymoron of our humanity may be the launch pad to interact with universal equality.

Always believe. Always hope. Always love. ❤

*Photo Credit: Image by Engel62 from Pixabay

 

Seeing Differently: 5 years in

By Monica C. Voskamp

Please don’t see me. That’s how I felt. I didn’t want to see me and I didn’t want others too. I wanted to somehow hide the entirety of 248 pound me. Try imagine adding 100 pounds to your size..(keep breathing!).. and think you can be invisible. It’s like being 2 people…seriously. Try fitting in a cafe booth!! That struggle was real.

Please don’t see me.” It was a lot of self thinking. I gave too much energy and anxiety over fear of people judging me and trying to reduce that fear. Yet I also had a message beating in my heart: Someone, anyone see me, hear me? But I couldn’t voice this well. I really couldn’t. It was a scary thought to be vulnerable, to express the true needs of myself. Here I was, adult age & body…yet struggling with the past 28 some years. I was carrying a childhood complex and past insecurities. Stuck.

Surrendering and taking ownership for myself ( the physical fatness) actually became the gateway to opening my whole self to health. You see, the more you confront and expose fears, lies, unhealthy mindsets and behaviors, the more you are opening yourself to freedom.

 

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Me in 2013

It’s 5 years since that “Me in 2013.”  Yes, I still have issues to work through…but this past 1/2 of decade has held so much growth in becoming my individual self, and being okay with me as me…me as a person, as a woman.

I am a woman. I know…it sounds like a gender statement haha.  Yes, I AM a female. 🙂 But I mean it in the way, that I’ve discovered, I am no longer a little girl; I am a woman. It’s been a journey of empowerment to discover I am MORE.  More than a helpless little girl.

This is me claiming who I am, not the little girl I knew, not the childhood fears, not the ghosts of the past. I am a woman. It is liberating to realize who I was then,  who I am now, and who I am becoming.

I am a woman. I’m capable of making my own choices, independent to make my own decisions, and responsible for the life I lead.  That’s a very simple and seemingly obvious statement for adulthood, but it’s something I’d never realized was mine.

 

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Me in 2018

There are many things I haven’t been taught I wish I had been. I can’t change that. My doctor was the first person to verbalize belief in me. I was stunned. She really believed I could do or become anything I wanted! My brother was the second person that spoke the same confidence. Then, I was the third. I suddenly realized I could make excuses for a million years of the things not in my favor and only see the odds…childhood trauma, messed up religious teachings, life impacting illnesses, 100 pounds extra… blah blah blah. 😛 Or I could flip the coin and embrace my coin.

As an adult, as a woman, it is now up to me to decide, learn, grow and be.  I have that choice, that’s quite the opportunity!

I do believe one should acknowledge the messiness. Sometimes that takes a LONG time.  (Example: me) But there’s more than acknowledging.  Action is the tough but also the best part. Plodding through and not letting any of the “messiness” hold you back leads to..is..healing.

5 years later I’m in a very different place.

The bonuses of embarking on loving me are many. I see:

…I no longer hate or despise myself!

-Seeing me.  I don’t wish to be invisible 🙂

-Enjoying me for me.

-Believing I am cut out to be a leader. Belief in myself!

-Wanting to take on challenges and opening to new approaches.

-Realizing it’s not all about me! I’m not alone in struggles, pain. This was an eye-opener. It’s an obvious fact of life…but something that finally hit me more.

And, remember that desperate inner “Someone, anyone hear me??”

-Finding a voice. I can speak up for myself, and for others.  Ironically, (lol), it does take *speaking* to be heard. 😉

My brother’s been my huge coach in encouraging me to express my thoughts freely and say what’s on my mind, instead of being fearful of people’s reaction or speaking to please them.  It’s called learning to be my own person, me. 🙂

In all those growths, there are still glitches! But as I heard recently, life is about “progress not perfection.” 🙂

5 years later..I see differently and I’m glad. I see a woman who is in the becoming.

I see love is action. It’s been a lot of brave, courage, fight, discomfort, joys…and commitment. Love doesn’t give up. Five years ago, it was a resolute heart decision: I’m committed to healthy living for the rest of my life. I knew I had to take action; it was enough of me praying for God to fix things, when He’s made me capable.  I’m on a wildly imperfect journey, but one of love.  And I’ve decided, love is the best vow you can ever make. For yourself…your whole self.., for your friends, family and for this life. ❤