Poetry: Catch Me

By Monica C. Voskamp

I’m in a room so dark

I can’t find the door

I can’t even see myself

Confusion clouds my mind.

I can’t find what I’m looking for

Cause the lights have gone out.

I’m just standing on this barren floor

Not knowing which way to turn

I’ve run circles in this dark

Trying to find the door.

I’ve groped the cement walls

Countless times but still 

I haven’t found the way out.

I’m stuck here in this room

And can’t hide my

Growing frustration.

I don’t want to admit

The ways I’ve tried reach for help

Because they only banished me more

To live in the dark.

I’m lost. I’m confused.

I’m desperate. I’m impatient to get out!

Yet the door is still somewhere

So very far from me.

The room is still dark.

I just want the light to go on

I want to see clearly

And sigh with relief

 I finally know how to get out.

I want out.

I want out of this room.

How did I even get here??

My mind spins.

But my emotions clock off.

I’m too tired of this.

I want to give up.

Give up wrestling

Something I can’t see.

Give up questioning

The love of God

Give up denying

The chaotic struggle in me. 

I hate being so fake.

Yet I’m scared to stay here.

Here in this dark room

Filled with despairing fear.

Girl, don’t run so fast.

There is something here for you.

It doesn’t seem so

But there is a gift in your now.

There is a gift in this

Dark black room.

I’m tired of being strong

Can I collapse now?

Will a higher power even care

And catch me if I fall?

Will strong arms hold me

Really hold me

So I can just be?

I want to be.

I don’t care if it’s here in this room.

I just need to be me for a moment

And not worry what anyone else thinks.

I want to be the mess of me

While still being seen

Beautiful and worthy. 

I’m collapsing here

On floorboards of dark

Love, catch me now.

Please catch me now.

 © 2020 MONICA C. VOSKAMP
Always believe. Always hope. Always love. 💕

* Photo Credit: https://unsplash.com/@photologic

Poetry: Lost Star

By Monica C. Voskamp

 

Wandering galaxies

Lost star you are

Can’t find a place

To settle your heart.

 

Can’t find a home

To tend each night.

Can’t find a man

To love just right.

Can’t find a child

To become mine.

 

Can’t find, can’t find

Lost star wandering

Galaxies.

 

She is restless

She is probing

For something

Beyond her soul.

For something

Beyond her time.

 

Wandering star,

Don’t wander too long

Don’t wander too far

For even the stars

Have a destined time.

 

Find your place, lone star

Mark the night sky

Before you burn out.

 

Always hope. Always believe. Always love. ❤

*Photo Credit: Photo by Wil Stewart on Unsplash

The Oxymoron of Humanity

By Monica C. Voskamp

Every one has a story.  Every one has a struggle.  Every one has a triumph.

It’s easy to isolate ourselves thinking we are unique to our struggles. Yes, you ARE the only one traveling the intricate path you do, but in the same breath, we still share universal concepts of grief, fear, triumph, hate and love. We each bleed human blood. It’s easy to blur the lines when strong emotions, when overwhelming circumstances come, when abuse happens. It’s easy to blur the lines thinking we are unique and utterly alone.

We are alone but not. We are unique but similar in how we all are unique. We are different but the same because we are each different.

What connects us is possessing the blood of humanity.

When we step away from the power of our emotions and look at the facts,  it can give us liberty to view our surroundings, our community, our planet earth differently.

It’s a strange oxymoron and enlightening liberation: How so different we are yet how so much we also are the same. Perhaps this is the platform on which we humans can relate with diversity.  The oxymoron of our humanity may be the launch pad to interact with universal equality.

Always believe. Always hope. Always love. ❤

*Photo Credit: Image by Engel62 from Pixabay

 

Poetry: Heart Broken

You may be but a breath away
Or You may be a mirage in my brain. I don’t know these days.
I don’t understand what is happening, Except this feeling invading me.

By Monica C. Voskamp

 

I can’t find the words to say my heart

It’s more all inside that’s broken apart.

I don’t know how to cope

With this looming fear,

I have to go this on my own.

 

Alone. Alone.

No one felt it more than You.

But alone, alone

Is all I can feel

All alone, yet here with You.

 

I try to reach out,

But even more I push away.

I want so much the love

Yet somehow I always find an escape.

I don’t understand,

This tug and pull in me.

I just want to be seen.

Seen and loved

Yet here I am,

Lost within the storm of me.

 

Alone. Alone.

No one felt it more than You do.

But alone, alone

Is all I can see.

Even here, while next to You.

 

You may be but a breath away

Or You may be a mirage in my brain.

I don’t know these days.

I don’t understand what is happening,

Except this feeling invading me.

 

Alone. Alone.

No one felt it more than You do.

But alone, alone

Is all I can feel

Even when You’re so close.

I’m still far,

Feeling alone from You.

 

Always believe. Always hope. Always love. ❤
*Cover Photo Credits: Photo by Aziz Acharki on Unsplash