By Monica C. Voskamp
Why did I believe your lies?
Why was I tempted by your charm?
Why was I misguided by
What I thought was my lifeline?
I don’t know.
Or maybe I do.
I don’t see the worth of me
So I chose to see
The vision in your eyes
The words you painted
For my ears and heart
That made me feel
Like I was the only one
In the world,
Like I was so incredible.
I saw my worth only through you.
That was the problem.
I didn’t see I had worth as me.
So I looked to you.
The funny thing is,
Well really quite sad,
You don’t really see the
True worth in me.
You don’t really see me
How incredible,
How precious,
How absolutely priceless
I am.
You see me with eyes of
Greed.
You see what you need.
You see what you want.
You see from your heart.
You see all you can get
From all of me.
Simply by charming,
Simply by showing,
The misguided way
The perfect path
Meant for undoing,
You would ruin me.
You were a path I thought
Would lead to life.
Thank God I was stopped,
And realized it was a mirage.
The reality would’ve been painful pleasures
Living in your sweet misery.
I would be poisoned by your charm
And forever tied into your life.
I would lose more of me,
By giving into more of you.
You would be the drug
I could never be without,
You would be the drug,
That would absolutely ruin me.
I couldn’t do that.
I stopped and counted the cost.
As much as I longed
For all your pretty words to be true.
I know I can’t see my value
Through the eyes of you.
You wouldn’t take good care
Of this precious cargo.
No, you don’t realize my worth.
For if you did,
You would’ve told me differently:
Go ahead dear one,
Look in the mirror.
See you are enough
You are enough already as you.
You don’t need my guiding force.
You don’t need my domineering,
To complete you.
You already are a masterpiece,
You already are beautiful
You are precious as you.
But you didn’t tell me that.
You didn’t tell me my true worth.
You told me without you,
I would never be enough.
You told me only with you,
Would I always be enough.
Life with you dominant,
Wouldn’t be free.
Liberty isn’t found
In a world of controlling.
It may be a way of
Finding strange relief
It may be a way of
Finding bitter security
It may be a way of gaining
Pitiful pleasure,
But it isn’t the way
Of finding life giving value
Forever.
I couldn’t listen to you.
I couldn’t.
Because in the end,
I just knew.
I knew you would be the poison
That would drain my liberty.
You would be the one
To fully, wholeheartedly
Undo all of who I am.
I want to be whole.
I want to be free.
I want to live truth.
And I want to be me.
These you didn’t offer.
These are things I realized
Is what I would be
Surrendering.
I couldn’t give up my all,
I couldn’t give into lies
Governing me.
I just couldn’t.
I couldn’t because
You would undo everything
I’ve worked so hard to become,
You would undo all I already see
All beauty in me.
The woman I am now,
Would cease to be.
You would be the ultimate process
You would be the perfect guide
For undoing.
I thank God to say,
I don’t want this way.
I want to continue as me.
I want to build on as me.
I am worth so much more,
Than the slow tedious work
Of any, of all of your undoing me.
Always hope. Always believe. Always love. ❤
*Cover Photo Credits: Photo by Gwen Weustink on Unsplash
Like this:
Like Loading...