Poetry: Rebel for Truth

By Monica C. Voskamp

 

Eyes fierce, jaw set

Heart locked and quivering lip

Betrayal had never pierced so deep.

The wrongs of time peaked their high

The chains of deception linked era to era

The mass of lies accumulating putrid smell.

She couldn’t dismiss this treacherous evil reign

No, this screwed up compass must be aligned

This fateful direction must be changed.

Lies had reigned their final day

The war of deception was on

Enough was enough.

Rebel for truth

Had come.

 

Always hope. Always believe. Always love. ❤

*Photo Credit: Photo by Xuan Nguyen on Unsplash

Poetry: Abuse

By Monica C. Voskamp

 

You slam me down

With your looks.

You tell me I’m nothing

By belittling my smarts.

You keep me at a distance

Never let me  know

What actually is

Love.

 

You use me

Like I’m some pitiful object.

You couldn’t care less

If I am hurting.

You say you love me

Through pain.

 

Abuse. Again and again.

Emotional.

Sexual.

Physical.

Spiritual.

Mental.

Abuse.

 

How I loathe you,

How I hate the years

You stole from me.

I’m filled with such pain

I constantly turn away.

It’s too great,

Abuse.

 

Abuse, you cut me down.

And justify with your gender

With your religion

With your pretty lies.

You knock me down

Till all I see in me

Is dirt.

 

Abuse, you think you have won

Many days I feel you have.

Everywhere I turn it seems,

You find me again.

It’s my greatest pain

That haunts me

Repeatedly.

 

Abuse, I will confront you.

I am. I am.

And in doing so it hurts like hell,

It hurts wounds exposed.

It hurts seeing my pain

So much so I will do anything

To numb the feeling,

To numb the wounding,

And surrender to the lie

I only deserve

Abuse.

 

But no. You will  not win.

I will never give up till my last breathe.

I will fight this poison,

This evil war on humanity.

I will fight as I tell my heart,

Damn those people, their evil.

 

Darling, don’t you listen to their lies.

You believe something different called truth.

You believe something beautiful called love.

You believe dear soul, you are enough.

And you don’t deserve,

Don’t ever, ever deserve

Abuse.

 

Always believe. Always hope. Always love. ❤

*Photo Credits:  Sydney Sims on Unsplash

Poetry: ..fear is a god..

By Monica C. Voskamp

Fear is a god.
That’s who I have worshiped
My subconscious has known this long,
My inner being has protested, strong.

It stuns me to admit
all this religion has been wrong,
Dead wrong.

Fear is a god
And one I knew well.
It all makes sense,
I didn’t know love
I didn’t know God.
I knew fear.
I knew fear
Not God.

I’m stunned and appalled.

Appalled at myself

Appalled at the church.

We got it catastrophically wrong,

the very fundamentals of who is God,

Was exchanged for a lie, a fraud.

 

I grew up in a cult not church.
I grew up in lies not truth.
I grew up under fear not God.

It relieves me very much that I bear the name of love.
It’s in my name, my DNA,
The reminder of who is God.

I bear a name I’m proud to own
A name that forever hails the truth: Love.
Fear isn’t God,
Love is.
Love is God.

Always believe. Always hope. Always love. 💕

Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@littleppl85

Poetry: Undoing Me

By Monica C. Voskamp

 

Why did I believe your lies?

Why was I tempted by your charm?

Why was I misguided by

What I thought was my lifeline?

 

I don’t know.

Or maybe I do.

I don’t see the worth of me

So I chose to see

The vision in your eyes

The words you painted

For my ears and heart

That made me feel

Like I was the only one

In the world,

Like I was so incredible.

 

I saw my worth only through you.

That was the problem.

I didn’t see I had worth as me.

So I looked to you.

 

The funny thing is,

Well really quite sad,

You don’t really see the

True worth in me.

You don’t really see me

How incredible,

How precious,

How absolutely priceless

I am.

You see me with eyes of

Greed.

 

You see what you need.

You see what you want.

You see from your heart.

You see all you can get

From all of me.

 

Simply by charming,

Simply by showing,

The misguided way

The perfect path

Meant for undoing,

You would ruin me.

 

You were a path I thought

Would lead to life.

Thank God I was stopped,

And realized it was a mirage.

The reality would’ve been painful pleasures

Living in your sweet misery.

 

I would be poisoned by your charm

And forever tied into your life.

I would lose more of me,

By giving into more of you.

You would be the drug

I could never be without,

You would be the drug,

That would absolutely ruin me.

 

I couldn’t do that.

I stopped and counted the cost.

As much as I longed

For all your pretty words to be true.

I know I can’t see my value

Through the eyes of you.

You wouldn’t take good care

Of this precious cargo.

No, you don’t realize my worth.

For if you did,

You would’ve told me differently:

Go ahead dear one,

Look in the mirror.

See you are enough

You are enough already as you.

You don’t need my guiding force.

You don’t need my domineering,

To complete you.

You already are a masterpiece,

You already are beautiful

You are precious as you.

 

But you didn’t tell me that.

You didn’t tell me my true worth.

You told me without you,

I would never be enough.

You told me only with you,

Would I always be enough.

 

Life with you dominant,

Wouldn’t be free.

Liberty isn’t found

In a world of controlling.

It may be a way of

Finding strange relief

It may be a way of

Finding bitter security

It may be a way of gaining

Pitiful pleasure,

But it isn’t the way

Of finding life giving value

Forever.

 

I couldn’t listen to you.

I couldn’t.

Because in the end,

I just knew.

I knew you would be the poison

That would drain my liberty.

You would be the one

To fully, wholeheartedly

Undo all of who I am.

 

I want to be whole.

I want to be free.

I want to live truth.

And I want to be me.

These you didn’t offer.

These are things I realized

Is what I would be

Surrendering.

 

I couldn’t give up my all,

I couldn’t give into lies

Governing me.

I just couldn’t.

 

I couldn’t because

You would undo everything

I’ve worked so hard to become,

You would undo all I already see

All beauty in me.

The woman I am now,

Would cease to be.

 

You would be the ultimate process

You would be the perfect guide

For undoing.

 

I thank God to say,

I don’t want this way.

I want to continue as me.

I want to build on as me.

I am worth so much more,

Than the slow tedious work

Of any, of all of your undoing me.

Always hope. Always believe. Always love. ❤

*Cover Photo Credits: Photo by Gwen Weustink on Unsplash

Poetry: Lies Exposed

By Monica C. Voskamp

 

You promised me good

You promised me amazing things

If I would obey

If I would stay in the lines.

But all the meanwhile,

You were telling me

White lies.

 

I was told this is truth,

Follow it with your whole heart.

Never abandon it,

You’ll be dammed to hell.

That alone scared me to

Eternally believe.

 

Yet all the while

I was being told

Corruptible evil lies.

 

Truth. What does it really mean

When it has been distorted

When it’s been twisted so badly

You can’t make sense of anything.

Something doesn’t add up.

This faulty religious equation

Is like 2 plus 2 equaling 7.

I’ve suddenly realized,

This ain’t the way to heaven.

 

The ultimate crime in religion’s eyes

Was played out in my life,

Spiritual fornication, adultery.

I’ve been cheated on.

Cheated from the truth,

And told fictitious

Lies.

 

Religion has it’s good…

Scratch that, it doesn’t.

It’s a mere facade.

A mirage of hope

In a desert of despair.

It seems to be good,

But it is not.

It’s evil, it’s twisted.

It’s a curse that takes a miracle

To fully escape from.

 

This religion

Demands for perfection,

Acceptance based on conversion.

This is bullshit.

This isn’t truth.

Deity didn’t come to lie,

To condemn, to judge,

Deity came to give liberty,

With arms wide open

To everyone.

 

It sickens me, saddens me

How much I’ve believed

How much I’ve been injected with lethal lies.

Yet it relieves me a great deal,

To finally discover,

What I was taught is

Actually not the truth.

 

 

I couldn’t live up to that way of life.

Ever.

Who is experiencing abundant life

In a belief based on lies?

It’s a constant shifting ground.

You’ll only sink further

And one day you’ll realize

You’re going to drown.

 

No wonder OCD

Persists to badger me.

I’m so scared I’ll never get it right,

There is no room for

Confidence or belief in myself

That I am capable.

I was told to never trust

Who I am,

Yet who I am,

Is actually a God-breathed

Miracle.

 

Religion cripples people.

Religion has crippled me.

The only good in it,

Is realizing  what I’ve been told

Is a mouthful of lies.

This is the good,

This is always the good

When lies are finally

Exposed.

 

Always hope. Always believe. Always love.

 

*Cover Photo Credits: Photo by 青 晨 on Unsplash