Poetry: I Am More

By Monica C. Voskamp

I say no.

You say, So?

I say wait,

You say, let’s go.

I change my mind,

you couldn’t care less.

 

Your mind is fixed

Regardless of my word.

Regardless of my state.

Regardless of my pain.

 

You are gaining,

I am losing,

You have power,

I lack courage.

You call the shots,

I’m scared to object.

I don’t believe in myself

Just yet.

 

One day I will.

I will push back.

I will stand my ground.

I will walk away head high

Even when you command,

And Threaten me

I’ll put on my heels

And just walk away

With Dignity.

 

I will walk away , I will.

I am worth far more

Than your worthless pushover

Whore.

 

I am more.

I am more than just some mans

Property.

I am more than a lowlife

commodity.

I am more than a pawn

Manipulated by corrupted hands.

I am so much,

More.

 

Always believe. Always hope. Always love. ❤️

* Photo Credit:https://unsplash.com/@___rob__

Poetry: Undoing Me

By Monica C. Voskamp

 

Why did I believe your lies?

Why was I tempted by your charm?

Why was I misguided by

What I thought was my lifeline?

 

I don’t know.

Or maybe I do.

I don’t see the worth of me

So I chose to see

The vision in your eyes

The words you painted

For my ears and heart

That made me feel

Like I was the only one

In the world,

Like I was so incredible.

 

I saw my worth only through you.

That was the problem.

I didn’t see I had worth as me.

So I looked to you.

 

The funny thing is,

Well really quite sad,

You don’t really see the

True worth in me.

You don’t really see me

How incredible,

How precious,

How absolutely priceless

I am.

You see me with eyes of

Greed.

 

You see what you need.

You see what you want.

You see from your heart.

You see all you can get

From all of me.

 

Simply by charming,

Simply by showing,

The misguided way

The perfect path

Meant for undoing,

You would ruin me.

 

You were a path I thought

Would lead to life.

Thank God I was stopped,

And realized it was a mirage.

The reality would’ve been painful pleasures

Living in your sweet misery.

 

I would be poisoned by your charm

And forever tied into your life.

I would lose more of me,

By giving into more of you.

You would be the drug

I could never be without,

You would be the drug,

That would absolutely ruin me.

 

I couldn’t do that.

I stopped and counted the cost.

As much as I longed

For all your pretty words to be true.

I know I can’t see my value

Through the eyes of you.

You wouldn’t take good care

Of this precious cargo.

No, you don’t realize my worth.

For if you did,

You would’ve told me differently:

Go ahead dear one,

Look in the mirror.

See you are enough

You are enough already as you.

You don’t need my guiding force.

You don’t need my domineering,

To complete you.

You already are a masterpiece,

You already are beautiful

You are precious as you.

 

But you didn’t tell me that.

You didn’t tell me my true worth.

You told me without you,

I would never be enough.

You told me only with you,

Would I always be enough.

 

Life with you dominant,

Wouldn’t be free.

Liberty isn’t found

In a world of controlling.

It may be a way of

Finding strange relief

It may be a way of

Finding bitter security

It may be a way of gaining

Pitiful pleasure,

But it isn’t the way

Of finding life giving value

Forever.

 

I couldn’t listen to you.

I couldn’t.

Because in the end,

I just knew.

I knew you would be the poison

That would drain my liberty.

You would be the one

To fully, wholeheartedly

Undo all of who I am.

 

I want to be whole.

I want to be free.

I want to live truth.

And I want to be me.

These you didn’t offer.

These are things I realized

Is what I would be

Surrendering.

 

I couldn’t give up my all,

I couldn’t give into lies

Governing me.

I just couldn’t.

 

I couldn’t because

You would undo everything

I’ve worked so hard to become,

You would undo all I already see

All beauty in me.

The woman I am now,

Would cease to be.

 

You would be the ultimate process

You would be the perfect guide

For undoing.

 

I thank God to say,

I don’t want this way.

I want to continue as me.

I want to build on as me.

I am worth so much more,

Than the slow tedious work

Of any, of all of your undoing me.

Always hope. Always believe. Always love. ❤

*Cover Photo Credits: Photo by Gwen Weustink on Unsplash