Day #5 Love Series: the Ground Beneath.

By Monica C. Voskamp
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Photo by Estée Janssens on Unsplash

Goals. Nothing wrong with them specifically. Achievements. Relationships. Jobs.  Families. Faith. Those are part of our lives, and a good part.

What is the wrong in them, then? When we place our value, our defining and our grounding in the things & people of life, this is the error.

How does this tie in with love? Boasting. I know, that sounds odd, but hear me as I spell this out.

I realized I find a satisfaction in subconsciously boasting to myself and to others. It’s this smug feeling and false grounding. If I have a nice house, a job, good  health, if I look half decent,  etc. If I have certain things and people in my life THEN I feel good about myself.

These are all things I find security in. Everyone has their own list. Yours might look more impressive than mine, or you may think my list is pretty amazing.

There is a fine line between being happy opposed to finding your happiness in those things. But there is something greater.

When you are so contented in your life you have no need for outside feel goods, this is when you are rooted in something great: love.

Boasting is giving praise to an insecure ego.  To boast is to stand yourself on fractured ground. It is relying on a bridge that will eventually give way. Life’s boards can and will crack.

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Photo by Benjamin Davies on Unsplash

Boasting is resting in a fake security.

Everything you and I have can be taken away in a breathe. Our jobs, our homes, our relationships, and achievements. Isn’t there a proverb how life is like a vapor? In just one breath, our world can be snuffed out.

Then what? It’s pretty devastating; we experience loss.  The greater destruction happens though when one is anchored solely in those things.

Love does not boast. Why? Love already is enough. Enough being, it is full. Love does not need to be validated. It doesn’t need to be recognized.

Love  knows who and what it is; *that’s* it’s security. Love just breathes day in, day out, its matchless value.

Love doesn’t need anything more than what it is.

We people tend to need and look for more. Hi… I’m a people. 😛 I tend to boast inwardly to myself and to others. My stomach churns at the thought that I, Monica Charity Voskamp, boast. Bleh.

It sickens me, perhaps, because I’m realizing boasting isn’t comprised of love. I’m also  startled. I have thought MANY times, I’ve understood my value; however, when I came to this boasting word, I realized I don’t get it yet.

I don’t live in security of myself, in free flow ease of who I am, not requiring any more to my name.  The realization I have lived my life with this shadowing demon sickens me. This demon, boasting, fights love from entering in.

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Photo by Fernando Rodrigues on Unsplash

 

I’ve allowed my value to hinge on the relationships I do or don’t have, the things I accomplish or don’t, what I possess or don’t. It’s stock market living. The stock market of people and things in my life will fluctuate. When it does, I will crash too.

I loose my sense of worth because I placed my value in the wrong place.

Boasting comes from a lack of self value. Boasting says: Look at me please and tell me I’m great (because I don’t really believe that myself.) Boasting repels love, because boasting says I need more.

Spoiler: Love doesn’t need more.  It believes in itself as is, because it is wholly enough. And God is love. Whoa, there’s an interesting statement.

This is what I’ve read, been told and am seeking to know if it’s true: God is love. What I’ve seen and experienced (in religious teachings) doesn’t add up, hence this love series.

Love doesn’t need to attach tags to its name. It doesn’t need a great marketing scheme or billboards to advertise it as some amazing product. Love is alive and knows it. Advertising love is a joke. If fact, “adding” to love is an insult.

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Photo by Tobias Moore on Unsplash

To the religions, to the church: wake up.  Love is not a product or legalistic system to be sold by manipulation, brainwashing, advertisement or adamant teaching.  People recognize love without a sermon, without a statement of religion. Humans in every walk of life recognize love as they encounter love.  They also experience simultaneously, love does not boast. 

Love doesn’t smear its richness, goodness in one’s face and make a person look insignificant. That isn’t love.

Love knows how much it is but doesn’t need to tell someone how grand it is. People know love is beautiful.  Love doesn’t brag in order to feel good. This is the skewed version of love advertising:  I’m so good, you need me (my love) to be a better person. You’re not good enough without me.

Is this what the church is doing?  Are they selling a product called love, yet really just wanting to feel good about themselves as people? Are religions actually fueled by insecure egos? I’m questioning.

Love doesn’t boast and this is why:  It knows it’s value, exactly as it is. It knows yours too. It’s equal. Love acts accordingly; it says you are valuable.

The outpouring of love is this: Someone sees and happily embraces your own person, not for your assets, your words or your actions, but for you.

Love sees purely you because love gives of itself and is true to it’s name. It sees you wholly complete, not a fractured being needing something more than who you are as you are.

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Photo by Sandrachile . on Unsplash

The thing to ground ourselves in isn’t our achievements, our years of marriage, our financial income, our commitment to religion, or grandiose amount of our faith. No. No. NO.

The real anchor in life is love. Anything else doesn’t hold the *enoughness* of love’s limitless bank. Boasting lacks an understanding of one’s value, boasting doesn’t know love. It discards one’s worth and exchanges true value for stock market living.

What does your ground look like? What are you standing on? Is your value & feel goods based on your relationships, assets, or religion?  Think about it.

It’s worth knowing what you’re standing on.

Always hope. Always believe. Always know love remains. ❤

 

 

 

 

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