the Stress Bomb: Avoidance

By Monica C. Voskamp

What’s stopping you today? What ‘road block’  is standing in your way?

Fear? Dread? Guilt? Inadequacy?  Worry?

Those are feelings. While not actual physical road blocks, feelings can become invisible roadblocks to real life matters.  How the heck do you get around these things??

I tend to be an emotional creature :D–raise your hand if you’re with me. 😉 While it has its perks, it can really be a nuisance when I make emotion-based decisions. I get stuck and can’t think of a different approach, because all I see are my ‘roadblocks’, aka, feelings.


Photo by Scott Stephens on Unsplash

Its like this deer standing on the road, and I’m on the road with him, paralyzed in fear. Because you know, this thing could charge me and then I’d be all suffering and dying.  Worst case scenario thinker here. 😛  But, really, there are plenty of ways to deal with a “deer in your tracks”..and I mean deal with it nicely. 😉

Feelings can stop us. It’s annoying and really quite ridiculous, but  it’s a real struggle.

The most simple task can halt me, not because of the task itself but because how I FEEL about the task.

For example, I had to recently update changes for work. All it took was an email. An EMAIL.  Something in my mind was dreading sitting down and getting the wording right. Yes, seriously that was my roadblock.

So I did some great problem solving…I procrastinated. :/ Then I felt guilty I hadn’t done it sooner.  My subconscious was like nope, let’s choose to ignore this email. (Great strategy eh?)

On my white board, I have a to-do list.  I tend to pick what I enjoy first rather than what needs most attention. (I avoid those like the plague!) And just like that, a stress bomb is in the making.


Instead of tackling the priorities, as the list whittles down, I keep adding more things &  doing new ‘to-do’s.’

I’m in avoidance mode.

Eventually, I do the dreaded task. But by then, the stress bomb has gone off. Chaotic feelings are maxed. (& sometimes there are other consequences because of my avoidance.)

My brother pointed out I spent my weekend focused on the wrong thing… low key priorities. (I was complaining to him about my stressors.) Although I had a list and was checking things off, I was going about it in the wrong way.

I wasn’t prioritizing.

After our phone conversation, I walked over to my white board and circled all the top priorities. I spent yesterday and today working on them. 🙂 You know how rewarding it was to wipe the top priorities off my board?!  I was high on accomplishment feels. 😉

The email I had been avoiding the past week and a half, I faced today. I had ample time and told myself to do it before anything else. But what did I do? I still stalled. I chose to mop the floor first. (NOT even on the list..sheesh.)  That my folks is avoidance at its finest…resorting to house cleaning, lol.

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash


I’m sure someone can relate with me though. This struggle is real: Avoid things that stir up ‘negative’ feelings.

Once I sat down at my laptop, it was all good. It seriously took me all of 5 minutes to write the email. I had avoided a 5 minute task for a whooping 15, 840 minutes (11 days!)

My brother’s latest advise: Just see whatever you need to do as business, a transaction.  He’s suggested to take my feelings out of the equation and go about what I needed to do. It’s like swiping your debit card. Keep it simple. 😉

Worry. Fear. Guilt. Inadequacy. You name it. Feelings are able to halt us, not only in doing tasks, but in life long goals. If I have trouble tackling a small ‘intimidation’ how will I ever do the dreams I *want* but scare me?

Sad truth is, I won’t see those dreams.  Ever. 😦

By navigating through these small roadblocks, I am actually building a bridge to meet my bigger goals and dreams.

Photo by Michael Heuser on Unsplash

One day my dream of writing a book, traveling to Ireland, getting my own house..and more…will actually happen. By confronting the little hiccups in my now, I’m building the skills to take on goals and dreams that feel beyond me.

Truth is, dreams start taking shape long before they even happen. Healthy confrontation, in mastering what daunts me on a small level now, equips me for greater feats in my future.

What are your fears? What are things stopping you? What are your dreams? What is *one thing* you can do today that will get you closer to dreams becoming reality?

Dreams are possible if we simply begin to reach.  So go ahead and reach with me. 🙂

Always love. Always hope. And always believe miracles happen. ❤




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